…How finding a team to row across the Atlantic felt a lot like online dating.
By Natalie Hart
In search of: Serious commitment, GSOH, passion for adventure. It might sound like a dating profile, but for us it was a list of requirements for a teammate too.
When I replied to Jen’s post on Explorers Connect looking for crewmates to row across the Atlantic, it was as simple as a swipe. Four months on, the One Ocean Crew is complete. We are an all-female team that spans the USA, UK and Europe – an eclectic, ambitious and adventurous bunch of women all drawn to challenges that require grit and determination. In December 2020, we will row 3000 miles across the Atlantic for the Talisker Whisky Atlantic Challenge, raising funds for the Sea Ranger Service.
We might feel like a dream team now, but crew selection was not an easy process. Recently I’ve been reflecting on our quest to find people we’d want to be stuck in the middle of an ocean with, the things we learned along the way, and why finding our perfect matches came to feel a lot like the search for romance.
Here are our top lessons learned about crew selection in the age of the online dating app.
1. First impressions matter – make an effort
We may not have been faced with thousands of potential matches, but we were contacted by around fifty people and we just didn’t have time to speak to them all. Messages that simply asked us more about the row tended to be treated like the ubiquitous ‘hi’ message on a dating app and ignored. People that told us something interesting about themselves, commented on a particular aspect of the advert, made a funny quip or just showed a bit of effort – those are the people who got our attention.
2. Whirlwind romance vs long-term commitment
Some people fall in love with the idea of adventure but not so much the reality. We met our fair share of those early on. It was all rainbows and sparkles and talk of rowing in the moonlight, but when the hard work and endless fundraising began, they no longer wanted to stick around. We became very sensitive to finding the right balance of enthusiasm and realism, to make sure our rowing partners were in it for the long-haul and would stick around when the proverbial hit the fan.
3. They might be perfect on paper, but sometimes the click just isn’t there
You know that person that you meet on an app that ticks every box you’ve ever wanted (and more), but fifteen minutes into the date you’re staring into your glass and wondering how soon you can politely escape? Exactly that. It was a tough lesson for us to learn. We had some amazing women apply to be on the team who were perfect on paper – rowing experience, ocean experience, impressive and varied backgrounds – but when we spoke to them there just wasn’t the chemistry. On paper they were perfect, but our hearts didn’t scream that they were the right partners for this adventure.
4. You will probably have to play the numbers game
Sometimes the right person just breezes into your life. I tell myself that is what happened when I responded to Jen’s advert on EC. I sent her an email, she called me that afternoon, and after a two-hour conversation I knew that a) I was going to row across the Atlantic and b) I had an adventure partner for life. We foolishly thought it would be as easy to find teammates three and four. Ha. Instead, we spoke to many, many people. At times we despaired, and at times it felt like more of a chore than an enjoyment, but we found our matches eventually.
5. Always go with your gut
It might be clichéd, but when you know, you just know. We have joked that our team has felt self-selecting. With both Leah and Jolita, from very early in the conversation they were talking as if they were already part of the team. It was easy and comfortable and, if we’re honest, we all had butterflies. Things that we thought were deal-breakers (such as living in the same country!) simply became logistical issues that we would overcome together, and we all felt like life would probably never be the same again.
6. Finally, there are a lot of really great people out there.
Take heart! This was one of our biggest take-aways from the search for teammates. All the responses we got to the advert served as a reminder of just how many amazing women are out there. They may not have been the right people specifically for our team and our adventure, but they were adventurous, resilient, kind, funny, enthusiastic and badass as hell. To anyone who got in touch – thank you! And we hope that soon you find your perfect adventure match too.
As an end-note, you may be interested to hear that we recently tried to apply this knowledge to an actual dating app as part of our fundraising effort too – we set up a Tinder profile for Doris, the boat we are trying to buy.
We had a surprising number of matches on Tinder but unfortunately our profile was blocked for breaching Tinder’s terms of use, so you can no longer find us there (oops). However, do not despair because our Instagram DMs are still very much open, so you’re welcome to slide on in @oneocean.crew.
If you’re more into old-school courtship you can email us oneocean.crew@gmail.com, or visit our website www.oneoceancrew.org. We are actively seeking sponsors for this huge challenge and would love to hear from you!